Arthur Autenzio

Thursday, June 30, 2005
My favorite panhandler

Everyday when I go to work I pass the same panhandler near the train station. Hes there in the morning and in the afternoon when Im heading home. I think of him as my bum because he is the only one I ever give money to (on rare occasions). He never says a word to anybody. He just holds his Dunkin Donuts coffee cup

in front of him with a surly expression on his face seeming to say put some money in my cup if you want, other wise bugger off. He looks like a cross between Long John Silver

and Rob Zombie.

One day I got angry with my bum. It was raining out and I had forgotten my umbrella so I got soaked walking to the train station. When I passed him, he was dry as a bone underneath a huge golf umbrella. He didnt even stretch his empty Dunkin Donuts coffee cup out from beneath the umbrella to beseech alms for the poor. I squelched onto the train vowing to never again favor him with a handout.

A few weeks later, I was getting an afternoon caffeine fix at Starbucks, and who do I see in there enjoying a triple-venti-low-foam-half-decaf-soy-cappuccino? Yup, my bum. Well, all was forgiven for the umbrella incident. I love how he enjoys the finest most expensive coffee beverages, yet in a brilliant marketing move, opts to use the budget Dunkin Donuts cup for his panhandling. Bravo, Long John Zombie!

Tuesday, June 28, 2005
I have Hillary Duff on my Ipod
Is that so bad?
She is one of my daughter's favorite Disney pre-packaged, pop-star-in-a-can-just-add-water singers.
I couldn't avoid hearing her over and over again at home and I have to admit she does do some catchy little tunes.
The only bad thing is that she clashes with the other artists on my Ipod's 'Sweetness' playlist. The song progression will typically go like this:

Rage Against the Machine - Bullet in the Head
The Darkness - Black Shuck
Taproot - Dreams
50 Cent - In da Club
Hillary Duff - Why Not

This segue is a little jarring.

Tuesday, June 15, 2005
Fly United
I have a couple of tree swallows that are nesting in my back yard. The other day I went out there with my camera to take some shots of them. They are not in the least bit skittish so I was able to get very close to them perched on my back fence.

I no sooner had shot a couple of pics, than the male bird flew up, did a 180 around, behind the female, and came in for an x-rated landing.

Welcome to the jungle, baby!

Thursday, June 9, 2005
Observations Made at a Microsoft Event

Being a software developer, I often have occasion to attend seminars and other events held by Microsoft and other vendors. I usually leave these shaking my head in disbelief at my fellow attendees. This particular event had a good crop. The guy one row in front of me was a charming specimen. He wore a black t-shirt emblazoned with a witticism only funny to another geek. It must have been a size extra-large to cover his ample Jolt soda/pepperoni pizza filled protruding belly. He wore a baseball cap to cover his bald spotI assure you it did not carry a sport team logo. The kicker was that he wore a pair of suspenders to hold up his jeans that were covered in dandruff. Now this is really area-51 type stuff because his black t-shirt was not covered in dandruff. Did he somehow fabricate a material that would attract small pieces of dead scalp and fashion it into suspenders?
Looking around I saw several women present but not a single spot of makeup. I suppose I wouldnt be dolling myself up either if I was planning on being at an event like this.
One thing I didnt see were any combovers.

I did see lots of facial hair

And lots of long hair

One thing that struck me at this seminar is that the real uber-geek seems to be exclusively American. There are always large numbers of Asians/Indians at these events and they are never as repulsive as the Americans. Curious.

autenzio.com

Words, Pictures, and stuff....